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JOKES

Computer Acronyms
PCMCIA 
People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN
It Still Does Nothing

APPLE
Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI
System Can't See It

DOS
Defective Operating System

BASICBill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM
I Blame Microsoft

DEC
Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM
Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 
Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW 
World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH
Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM 
Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

COBOL
Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA
A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP 
Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis

MIPS
Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS
Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

GIRO
Garbage In Rubbish Out

MICROSOFT
Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for) Fools (&) Teenagers.
Give a Man a Fish
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach him to use the Internet, and he won'tv bother you for weeks!

Computer Quotes
What is a computer's first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.

What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.

What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
The space bar.

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.

Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.

What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.

To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.

Computers are not intelligent.
They only think they are.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

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